Anguished
by Uenki
Summary: “Thank you, Kami-sama.


**Disclaimer:** [Cough] Do you think that I own Rurouni Kenshin?

**Anguished  
by Uenki**

**

* * *

**_Is it love or is that lies,  
is it everything of him that I missed so much of?_

A small sad smile flashed crossed her face when she saw him smiling happily, with the gradational scroll clutched tight on his hands. Yes, it was her last and final time to see him with a look of happiness on his face, for it was their gradational day today, July 15.

She, Kamiya Kaoru, had been 'admiring' him, Himura Kenshin, for exactly 5 years... But the time had came, the time that she had to end her never-ending fantasies for _her_ Kenshin. She was always unnoticeable by him, melting in the shadows, hiding in the crowds...

But she was always near to him, just to have a peek of his smiles, wishing that one of those beautiful smiles were for her, but to her dismay, it was not. It's always directed to his best of friends, her best bud. However, her hope wasn't affected at all, for she knew, someday, he will look at her in another way, not the quiet, shy Kamiya Kaoru, but the one flashing with determination and pride.

But she gave a sigh. Her hands picked up the cup of fruit punch and gulped it down in a few seconds.

_Am I wrong to love you like I always do,  
days after days,  
years after years?_

She never had the chance to tell him that she loved him, she never had, for he hadn't notice her at all. She was never the top in the spotlight like Megumi was, nor she was that bubbly and hyper like Misao was. She was just a girl who had no achievements despite her scholarship awards that helped her to get into this school to meet him, she never had the chance to present herself to him.

However, it still happened. It happened at the school's fair, to promote their clubs and co-circular activities. She was called to tend the stall for pancakes, but she sighed again. The literature club, where she was at, doesn't know her weak spot doesn't he? She was a total moron in cooking, whatever was the thing she had touched, the whole thing will go on fire. Yet it hadn't that time, for he was with her.

Sighing dreamily, her eyes going starry, she remembered those times his hands interacted with hers.

* * *

_"None of the girls I've met have such a tad bit problem with cooking!" he chuckled, seeing the charred pancake lying onto the metal surface. She blushed furiously at the sight of him, but at the same time, she retorted haughtily._

_ "I am utterly sorry to tell you that, Himura Kenshin, not all girls have the talent to cook! Not I am, at least!" she rolled her eyes and threw the charred pancake into the rubbish bin nearby. Sighing desperately, she poured another bowl of mixture into the metal stove, and flipped it furiously. Kenshin laughed again._

_ "You must be gentle with food, Kaoru-dono," he said softly, leaning closer to her and held the hands, beginning to flip it gently, "like this..." she turned into a several colors of red, not knowing to smile with joy or to go angry. She chose the latter. She jerked her hand back from his grasp, which caused him to be quite taken aback._

_ "I'm sorry, but not every girls is as demure and gentle!" she snapped, and stomped off in anger, though she doesn't know for the fact that why she was angry in the first place. There, Himura Kenshin stood on the stall, muttering a barely audible, "Oro?"_

* * *

Ah, the fond memories... She crushed the paper cup and threw it in the nearby bin, and stepped out from the hall despite Misao's ranting. Stretching her hands, she stifled a yawn. She strode to the school's swings. She sat on the swing, and push herself back. Instantly, the wind engulfed her, it roared past her ears, giving her those beautiful memories she had wince she was just a toddler, when her parents were alive. A genuine smile escaped from her lips, those that were not shown for the past years. 

She took a few more swings, to the second time, she went flying up into the air... someone had pushed her from behind. She turned back, with a slip of hand, she fell out of the swing... in the mid-air.

"Careful!" the one that had pushed her from behind cried, before she knew, she landed in his arms. Her eyes partially went as wide as saucepans.

"Kenshin?!" she yelled, and his eardrums almost went burst.

* * *

They were both seated in a bench, and she rolled her eyes at the cuts that she had received during her fall. "Gomen-nasai, Kaoru-dono! Sessha... sessha..." She saw Kenshin hesitated for a moment, before brushing the matter off. 

"It's me who should said sorry, Himura-san." she eyed his cuts that were more deeper than hers when she landed on top of him and he partially ate the sand. She knelt down and took out a handkerchief from her kimono that she had worn for the gradational day. Slowly, she wipe the wound clean and bandaged up his cut with her handkerchief, not knowing that Kenshin was always eyeing her intently.

_I am sorry, I am sorry,  
how many times must I say for you to forgive me?_

She turned her head and their gaze met. Violet went clashing violently with sapphire blue. She saw flickering emotions in his eyes, unconsciously, she spoke, "... love you..." she clamped her mouth shut, blushing furiously when she regain control of herself, knowing that she had spoke out loud. She saw Kenshin's eyes widened in disbelief. Tears stung her eyes when she thought of rejection, she went back on her heels, and she ran.

Kenshin stood there, his face went blank at what he have heard. Regaining consciousness, he leapt after her...

* * *

A strong arm grabbed her from behind, and she saw the strands of the hair of the all-too-familiar Kenshin. "Ai... Aishiteru, Kaoru-dono." he murmured, though it was softer than a whisper. Those words registered in her brains, and she wanted to yelled out loud. But she rejected it. 

"Nande? Are you kidding, Himura-san?" she said, part of her wanted to believe it, but she still doesn't.

"Kenshin... I like that. I liked how you called me that." he said, still grabbing her in his chest, "I... I hoped that you noticed me... From that time.. remember the time we've spent tending the stalls? It is that time... I felt that you're just for me... Kaoru."

_No -dono?  
Is this what I've heard or is that my ears playing tricks on me?_

She buried her head in his chest. "I never do thought... I love you too, _Kenshin."_

_Thank you, Kami-sama.  
This was once of the best day I ever had..._

_He noticed me, he really do..._

**

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This is a getaway from my writer's block from Always the letter, hope you enjoy it! It is a one-shot! =D**


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